Ooze

This is lost on me.

But it's not the same feeling
like you have in the morning,
over your first cup of coffee
groggy and disorienting.

And even though
the above stated is me...
(I'm having my coffee)
It feels more like
a new memory.

Like the top of a tree
with the absence of leaves
branches reaching up from the ground.
But then turn it upside down
and paint it white -
it's lightning.

This is why I'm struggling.

I feel everything pulsating -
changing and waiting
until no one is looking
to continue mutating.

And I'm still
even when you're not here.

When we're
together, I think
it feels better?
But I'm still here...
and I'm still.

While the rest are
oozing around town.

Or doing
whatever it is that
movers and mutate-ers do.

So sue me.

     So what?
I grew up in the 90's.
So sue me.
I'm in love.
     & it's not
like the movies.
There is no music
when we touch.
     There's no slow-jam
when we fuck.
     There's not a camera
to catch every cuddle
or every subtle
innuendo.
     But in the end, know
that I am
in love.


I put up walls around everything
I only write in ink
I've got a bowl full of cereal
And dishes in the sink
& you're an estranged constellation
Broken beyond weird repair
You're so sure you're in love
In the mirror/In underwear
     There's a light through the window
     There's no way you heard me
     There's no good way to let go
     There is no one listening


And I love to watch her do the most mundane things.


    But, hey. It's the moon. And it's out too soon so let's retire to the bedroom. Let's build a cocoon and talk about everything gloom & doom. Because when we go out to the bar, we just stand in the corner. Make fun of kids drinking PBR, and make our way back to the car.

                              & we go home early
                                  watch a porno movie
                                  you say that you feel dirty
                                  but only
                                  you mean you're not clean

Just to be clear:
I was born inside a diorama